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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:23 pm 
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you honestly think i care whether it was a bad joke or not?

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:26 pm 
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he's the warmaster, when a girl has too much sex she's a whore, when a boy has too much sex he's Horus the Warmaster.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:28 pm 
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Warforger wrote:
he's the warmaster, when a girl has too much sex she's a whore, when a boy has too much sex he's Horus the Warmaster.

I think that is a good way to end this. :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:33 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:37 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:47 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:53 pm 
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Well, it looks like we are all in the right place then. ;)

Sorry, if I got some peoples undergarments all in a knot. Was just messin', jeeze. :?

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 6:55 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 7:08 pm 
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Hey! For humorous non-40K pictures like this we have the "Vol can has dis" thread.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 7:12 pm 
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Do not mock the warmaster, I did and barely escaped with my life!!!

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 7:44 pm 
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SpardaSon21 wrote:
Hey! For humorous non-40K pictures like this we have the "Vol can has dis" thread.


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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 9:04 pm 
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I would hate to be that kid. On second thought I'm gonna make that my new avatar.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 9:56 pm 
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Now that is something that I can watch for a while... ;D

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Aug 05, 2009 10:54 pm 
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I'm glad I went to the bathroom before I hopped back on the forums, I woulda pissed myself if I hadn't.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:04 am 
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Horus wrote:
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Why would you do that to your peniz? :o

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:07 am 
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>.> The child looks asian ... he had nothing to lose :P.

/stereotype

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 4:11 am 
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I wont lie I was going to do the stereo type thing myself. :oops:

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:00 am 
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Maybe, he is a masochist? :roll:

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 12:00 pm 
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i can think of far worse things he could do.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 12:04 pm 
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You do that.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Aug 06, 2009 6:07 pm 
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Horus wrote:
i can think of far worse things he could do.



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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Sep 30, 2009 8:25 am 
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that's a troubled mind for you ;)

anywiggle...

a circus performer had to be rushed to hospital after an attempt at launching himself from a cannon failed due to his donkey running in front just as he launched.

it was later revealed that the doctors spent several hours pondering on how to remove the man's head from his own ass.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:31 am 
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Epic necro Horus. :P

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 12:40 am 
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I assumed he doused himself with Axe spray before burning himself (it's supposed to prevent fire damage or something, my friend tried it and told me -_< ...)

He might just be a n00b attention-whore who burns himself for YouTube stars. Stupid jackweed deserves every genital burn he recieves.... :x .

As my friend said....

"This thread demands necromancy!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:06 am 
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Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates.' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?'

The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.

The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

`Father,' replied the son, `I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

`Father,' said the son to this, `I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'

`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.

`I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls,' said the father, `but if it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a carton of pink ping pong balls.

The boy was delighted and took the carton to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the pink ping pong balls had all disappeared.

`Dear son,' said the father, `I must ask now, what do you do with all those pink ping pong balls?'

The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. `Please humour me, dear father.'

The carton of pink ping pong balls, however, was never seen again.

The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart from the obvious. So, one day before the son's 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday.

`Dearest father,' the son started, `I have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a warehouse full of pink ping pong balls.'

One of these years, his father thought, I should get to the bottom of this. However, he decided to humour his son's wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy shares in a pink ping pong ball factory.

The next day, the son was given the address of a warehouse where all his new pink ping pong balls were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the warehouse rather than at home.

The following morning, the son stepped out of the warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, apart from empty cardboard boxes, nothing was left inside the warehouse. No pink ping pong balls were left.

The following year, one day before the son's 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another warehouse of pink ping pong balls. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong.

`Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of pink ping pong balls if at all possible.'

It was possible, if only because the father had by now bought each and every factory of pink ping pong balls in the country.

The next day, the father took his son to the harbour and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of pink ping pong balls in there.

`Father,' the son said, `You've made me very happy yet again.'

That night, the son spent on board the tanker.

The next morning, not a single of the pink ping pong balls could be found, but the son was happy.

A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible road accident and was taken to the hospital.

His father visited the young man in hospital. `My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?'

Weakly, the son sat up in bed. `Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father held his son's hand tightly. `Whatever you wish my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those pink ping pong balls.'

`Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the ten pink ping pong balls.'

The father thought that was fair enough and the next day brought his son the ten asked for pink ping pong balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk.

`Son, I leave these pink ping pong balls with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those pink ping pong balls.'

The son nodded weakly.

The next day, less than surprisingly, no pink ping pong balls could be found in the son's hospital room.

`Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those pink ping pong balls,' the father requested.

The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter.

`I-' the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth.

`I- I-'

Then he died.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:32 am 
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What the hell? That wasn't funny... that was just... :? .

I told you 'dis one already, but to ev'ryone else....

It was the middle of a massive flood, and all were evacuating but a pious Catholic man, with a leaden cross in hand. A makeshift raft rowed over to him...

"Come aboard, to safety!"

"No, His divine intervention will save me."

Next was a military lifeboat. A National Guard soldier addressed the man.

"Sir, come with us!!!"

"No! For the Lord will save me!"

Thirdly, a helicopter flew overhead, and offered the same request... Again, this man of faith denied. The water crested over his ankles, his waist, his neck, and finally, he drowned in the deluge.

When he came to, he was clad in a soft white tunic, kneeling on a palatial scape of clouds before the Lord God. He looked up, hurt and inquiring...

"O Father, why hath you forsaken me to the waters deadly caress?"

And so, the omnipotent God looked down on the jaded zealot, and He said...




"You moron! I sent you a raft, a lifeboat, and a helicopter!!!"

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 3:35 am 
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Des Major wrote:
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. 'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, 'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.
'You may pass through the pearly gates.' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'
Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'

The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A day before his 15th birthday, the son of a wealthy family was asked by his father, `Well my son, what would you like for your birthday?'

The son hesitated a moment and his father's thoughts leapt ahead to a new computer and similar things. However, his son had had a new computer only recently and could have a new one any time he wished.

Finally, the son said, `Father, I have everything a boy could wish for, but there is one thing I would really like. I would love to have a pink ping pong ball.'

The father was rather astonished at this wish, but said, `If it is a pink ping pong ball that you want, a pink ping pong ball you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his bithday present a pink ping pong ball.

The boy took the ball to his room and the next morning the pink ping pong ball was gone. The father was mildly surprised but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong ball, however, was never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 16th birthday, the father asked his son what he would like for his birthday.

`Father,' replied the son, `I have everything a boy could possibly wish for, but there is one thing I would really, really like. I would love to have a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was more surprised than the year before, but kept his curiosity at bay, for he knew that his son had a right for privacy. he said therefore, `If it is a tenpack of pink ping pong balls that you want, a tenpack of pink ping pong balls you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the son was given as his birthday present a tenpack of pink ping pong balls.

The boy took the tenpack of balls to his room and the next morning, not a single ball remained, merely the empty husk of the tenpack. The father wondered where ten pink ping pong balls might disappear to, but decided not to say anything. The pink ping pong balls, however, were never seen again.

The next year, a day before his 17th birthday, the son was asked by his father what he would like for his birthday.

`Father,' said the son to this, `I have everything a boy could wish for, but one thing would make my happiness complete. I would dearly want a carton of pink ping pong balls.'

The father was beyond surprise, but decided to make sure he had not misheard. `A carton of pink ping pong balls?'

`A carton of pink ping pong balls,' the boy confirmed.

`I can't understand your fascination with pink ping pong balls,' said the father, `but if it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you want, it is a carton of pink ping pong balls that you shall have.'

And so, the next day, the boy was given as his birthday present a carton of pink ping pong balls.

The boy was delighted and took the carton to his room. The next day, miraculously (as if by magic, even) the pink ping pong balls had all disappeared.

`Dear son,' said the father, `I must ask now, what do you do with all those pink ping pong balls?'

The son, however, was reluctant to tell him. `Please humour me, dear father.'

The carton of pink ping pong balls, however, was never seen again.

The next year, it was clear that the son would get a car, but the father felt that, perhaps, his son also had some other wish apart from the obvious. So, one day before the son's 18th birthday, the father asked him whether he had a special wish for his birthday.

`Dearest father,' the son started, `I have everything a young man could possibly want, but there is one craving in me. I would, more than anything, want a warehouse full of pink ping pong balls.'

One of these years, his father thought, I should get to the bottom of this. However, he decided to humour his son's wish. At least he had been wise enough to buy shares in a pink ping pong ball factory.

The next day, the son was given the address of a warehouse where all his new pink ping pong balls were stored. The son was delighted and decided to spend the next night in the warehouse rather than at home.

The following morning, the son stepped out of the warehouse, but it seemed to be empty otherwise. The father had a closer look and indeed, apart from empty cardboard boxes, nothing was left inside the warehouse. No pink ping pong balls were left.

The following year, one day before the son's 19th birthday, the father braced himself for another warehouse of pink ping pong balls. He asked his son what his deepest desire was and he had not been entirely wrong.

`Father, you have made me very happy these last years and this year I ask of you a shipload of pink ping pong balls if at all possible.'

It was possible, if only because the father had by now bought each and every factory of pink ping pong balls in the country.

The next day, the father took his son to the harbour and showed him a huge tanker and told his son that there were millions, billions, trillions of pink ping pong balls in there.

`Father,' the son said, `You've made me very happy yet again.'

That night, the son spent on board the tanker.

The next morning, not a single of the pink ping pong balls could be found, but the son was happy.

A few days before his 20th birthday, however, the son had a terrible road accident and was taken to the hospital.

His father visited the young man in hospital. `My dear son! Can I bring you anything to make you feel better?'

Weakly, the son sat up in bed. `Father, dearest father, grant me this wish; just one tenpack of pink ping pong balls.'

The father held his son's hand tightly. `Whatever you wish my son, but I have to give you one condition. Even if it may be embarrassing, I must know what you did with all those pink ping pong balls.'

`Very well, father, but please indulge me first. I will tell you whatever you wish to know after you have given me the ten pink ping pong balls.'

The father thought that was fair enough and the next day brought his son the ten asked for pink ping pong balls. The son smiled weakly but seemed too weak to talk.

`Son, I leave these pink ping pong balls with you and shall come back tomorrow to ask of you what you have done with all those pink ping pong balls.'

The son nodded weakly.

The next day, less than surprisingly, no pink ping pong balls could be found in the son's hospital room.

`Now, my dearest son, apple of my eye, treasure of my life, please tell me what you did with all those pink ping pong balls,' the father requested.

The son nodded and the father gripped his hand tighter.

`I-' the son started and sat up a bit, swallowing with a dry mouth.

`I- I-'

Then he died.


I saw that coming a mile away... and I salute you for it.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 4:59 am 
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I read another shorter version of it on another forum anyway

Horus wrote:
i can think of far worse things he could do.


BME Pain Olympics being one of them......

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 01, 2009 6:24 am 
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Quote:
Epic necro Horus.


you can't really necro a sticky :ugeek: and this is meant to be read by and posted at anytime as its that sort of thread.

Quote:
BME Pain Olympics being one of them......


far far worse :|

i usually find all of them painfully funny, but this horse one where some one dies after wards... i just felt so sick at how stupidly ignorant that person was.

trust me its a very wrong video and im not going to point it out to anyone here.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 6:25 am 
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I think I seen it... And I don't believe he died... :roll:

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 8:53 am 
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I think I seen it... And I don't believe he died..


the vid im talking about was confirmed by the same guy that uploaded it.

besides the human body isn't designed to take that kind of thing. its just common sense and that's what sickened me the most.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 2:52 pm 
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are sitting in a bar. Suddenly, a fly dives into their beers. The Irishman says, "Barman, a fly just dived into my beer. Bring me another one." The Irishman got another beer. The Englishman says, "Ah, to hell with it," and empties his pint, fly and all. The Scotsman pulls the fly out of his beer, shakes it up and down, and screams, "Spit it out, damn you! Spit it out!"

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all builders working on a bridge. The Englishman opens his lunch-box and says, "If I get one more tuna sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Scotsman opens his lunch box and says, "If I get one more ham sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The Irishman then says, "If I get one more egg sandwich, I'm going to jump off this bridge." The next day, all three get the same lunch, all three jump off the bridge, and all three die. At their funeral, the Englishman's wife says, "If only I'd known he didn't like tuna." The Scotsman's wife says, "If only I'd known he didn't like ham." The Irishman's wife says, "I don't understand it. He made his own sandwiches."

There were three wannabe astronauts, a Russian, an American and an Irishman, sitting in a bar.

The Russian says "Us Russians are the best because we were the first in orbit."

The American says "Us Americans are the best because we were the first on the moon."

Then the Irishman says, "Well us Irish are going to be the first on the sun."

With that the American and the Russian look at the Irishman and say "You'll get burnt you idiot."

The Irishman replies, "We're going at night ya morons!"



Paddy the irishman was cleaning his rifle when he accidently shoots his wife.he calls 999 and says OMG ive just shot me wife I think ive killed her. the operator says will u please make sure she is dead first......(click,bang) ok done that what next.


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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 3:02 pm 
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lol not bad :P


heres one for u its abit rude but there ya go

a woman walks into a pet store and sees two parrots.

one is priced £250 and the other £50

she says "why is this one so cheap?"

to wich the owner replies "because he used to live in a brothel"

the womans finds it funny buys the parrot and takes him home

when she sets up his cage in the house the parrot says "ere new whore house is it?"

the woman finds it funny and laugh's

later her daughters come home and their mother shows them the parrot

the parrot says "ere new prozies then?"

the mothers and daughters find it hilarious and pay no attention

When the farther comes home the mother gathers her daughters to show the farther the new parrot.

when the parrot sees the farther he says "**** me keith havent seen you in a while"

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Last edited by bloodtitan on Fri Oct 02, 2009 4:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Fri Oct 02, 2009 4:25 pm 
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Haha the parrot one was good!

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 8:54 pm 
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Irish jokes are great.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Sat Oct 03, 2009 9:57 pm 
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you liked them so heres more:)


Pat and Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before morning tea Pat yelled: "Mick! I lost me finger!"

"Have you now?" says Mick. "And how did you do it?"

"I just touched this big spinning thing here like this...Damn! There goes another one!"


There were 3 men, one English man one Scots man and one Irish man. They were all sentenced to death by shooting so the police man took them around the back of the court to be shot. The English man was first, so he went up and waited, and the policeman said ready, aim, then the English man shouted 'blizzard'. While every one was looking for the blizzard, the man got away. So the Scots man did the same thing, except he yelled out 'duck' and he too got away. The Irish man steps up and when the policeman said ready, aim, the Irish man yelled FIRE!!!!

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman are driving in the desert, suddenly the car breaks down. The Englishman take some food, the Scotsman some water and the Irishman, the car door. The Englishman and Scotsman ask the Irishman 'Why take the car door?' The Irish man replies 'if it gets hot, I can wind the window down!'

next ones a bit long:P

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, "Did your hear the news - Mike is dead??!!!"

"Woah, what the hell happened to him?"

"Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn't brake properly and boom - He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof - Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window."

"What a horrible way to die!"

"No no, he survived that, that didn't kill him at all. So, he's landed in my upstairs bedroom and he's all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He's just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones."

"What a way to go, that's terrible!"


No no, that didn't kill him he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him."

"Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!"

"No no, that didn't kill him, he even survived that. So he's on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned most of his skin off him."

"Man, what a way to go!"
3 years ago

"No no, he survived that, he survived that! He's lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn't mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him."

"Now that is one awful way to go!"

"No no, he survived that..."

"Hold on now, just how the hell did he die?"

"I shot him!"

"You shot him? What the hell did you shoot him for?"

"He was wrecking my house."


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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 1:42 am 
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Horus wrote:
Quote:
I think I seen it... And I don't believe he died..


the vid im talking about was confirmed by the same guy that uploaded it.

besides the human body isn't designed to take that kind of thing. its just common sense and that's what sickened me the most.


IIRC it was debunked, as it got the autonomy of the penis wrong and the guy didn't bleed enough.....

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Sun Oct 04, 2009 11:31 am 
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"There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old's life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs."

- John Rogers

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:30 pm 
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"What killed him?"
"Hard to tell the damage dice yet, but he suffered a 3x critical, so a bow of some kind."
"What do we know about the victim?"
"Messenger for the king, high movement per round and good riding skill. He has a letter pouch, but it's empty."
"Sounds like he had a message of..."
*sunglasses*
"Critical importance."


"Sir, take a look at this."
"What happened here?"
"This man was apparently an unfaithful lover for a town baker's daughter, if the letter placed on his corpse is any indication. Poisoned; frozen from the inside out."
"Well, looks like he found out the hard way. Revenge..."
*sunglasses*
"Is a dish best served cold."


"What do we have here, Jim?"
"Druid 1st level. He tried to have his friend graft him owlbear limbs, suffered spell critical failure."
"Well, we shouldn't mock him."
*sunglasses*
"It was his right to bear arms."


"What've we got?"
"Burnt to death. It was a close thing too, only a couple of hp in it. If he'd stopped, dropped and rolled he may have been fine."
"Looks like he should have learned to:"
*sunglasses*
"Roll for fire damage."


"Well, what have we here?"
"Likely cause of death, blunt force trauma, I'd say 10d6 impact damage"
"Anything else?"
"Full plate armour, holy symbol, stick up ass; guy's gotta be a Paladin."
"Looks like..."
*sunglasses*
"...He fell."


"What a mess. What happened here?"
"Well, from what he can gather, the noble's daughter was dropped 300 foot from the tower above. She was wearing a ring of feather fall, but the monster's antimagic eye was open and the girl crashed into it, killing them both."
"I guess it's true. Beauty..."
*sunglasses*
"Is in the eye of the Beholder."

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:38 pm 
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/facepalm

Those are the cheesiest jokes i've ever heard Skrak.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 8:53 pm 
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What is Red and Fluffy?
Red Fluff.

What is Blue and Fluffy?
Red Fluff you say? Nah - Red Fluff holding it's breath.

What's Brown and Sticky?
A stick.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 10:26 pm 
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Quote:
Those are the cheesiest jokes i've ever heard Skrak.

there's far cheesier stuff around.

whats yellow and is made backwards? edam

now that's a very cheesey joke XD

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 11:03 pm 
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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Thu Oct 08, 2009 11:43 pm 
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its meant to be.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 12:11 am 
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Skrak, those jokes were epic, find MOAR! :lol:

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Fri Oct 09, 2009 3:31 am 
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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 12:14 am 
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I didn't think you guys would actually stop O_O

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 6:04 am 
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I dunno about you, but a mobile suit with a migraine is nothing to be trifled with.

I don't blame them for giving him time to let the Tylenol kick in.

Also: Oh hai.

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Wed Oct 21, 2009 10:00 am 
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Skrakar wrote:
"What killed him?"
"Hard to tell the damage dice yet, but he suffered a 3x critical, so a bow of some kind."
"What do we know about the victim?"
"Messenger for the king, high movement per round and good riding skill. He has a letter pouch, but it's empty."
"Sounds like he had a message of..."
*sunglasses*
"Critical importance."


"Sir, take a look at this."
"What happened here?"
"This man was apparently an unfaithful lover for a town baker's daughter, if the letter placed on his corpse is any indication. Poisoned; frozen from the inside out."
"Well, looks like he found out the hard way. Revenge..."
*sunglasses*
"Is a dish best served cold."


"What do we have here, Jim?"
"Druid 1st level. He tried to have his friend graft him owlbear limbs, suffered spell critical failure."
"Well, we shouldn't mock him."
*sunglasses*
"It was his right to bear arms."


"What've we got?"
"Burnt to death. It was a close thing too, only a couple of hp in it. If he'd stopped, dropped and rolled he may have been fine."
"Looks like he should have learned to:"
*sunglasses*
"Roll for fire damage."


"Well, what have we here?"
"Likely cause of death, blunt force trauma, I'd say 10d6 impact damage"
"Anything else?"
"Full plate armour, holy symbol, stick up ass; guy's gotta be a Paladin."
"Looks like..."
*sunglasses*
"...He fell."


"What a mess. What happened here?"
"Well, from what he can gather, the noble's daughter was dropped 300 foot from the tower above. She was wearing a ring of feather fall, but the monster's antimagic eye was open and the girl crashed into it, killing them both."
"I guess it's true. Beauty..."
*sunglasses*
"Is in the eye of the Beholder."


HAHA... HAHAHAHA...

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 Post subject: Re: The Forum Joke Thread. =]
PostPosted: Fri Oct 23, 2009 3:55 pm 
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Raynor wrote:
I dunno about you, but a mobile suit with a migraine is nothing to be trifled with.

I don't blame them for giving him time to let the Tylenol kick in.

Also: Oh hai.


Why not? A titan could hold him off easily enough if he got cranky.

On a side note: Oh hai?

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